


empty out into the stars [drabble collection]

by ichidou



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-24
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-10 15:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/467854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichidou/pseuds/ichidou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of drabbles and prompts; most are Freelancer-centric but check the list of characters and relationships for everthing included. Use the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/467854/navigate">chapter index</a> to skip to different drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. there are no ghosts here [Director/Allison]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [timelessalice](http://timelessalice.tumblr.com): "I thought of you/and where you’d gone/and the world spins madly on.”

The house isn’t much, just one floor and a loft up above, with a shed out back, but it’s _theirs_ , and that makes up for everything, when it comes down to it. It’s the one thing Church had never dreamed they’d be able to have, as much because he never quite thought they’d be able to afford it as the fact that she’d actually said _yes_.

Allison has _opinions_ about everything, from colors to patterns to what kind of fabric they should get for the curtains, even if she makes him do all the work of buying things, and Church doesn’t complain, doesn’t do anything but smile and kiss her hair just for the way she barks at him.

They _have this_ , finally, and he won’t give it up for the world.

She smiles more, too. Once, she never would have dreamed of showing him a softer side to her, just the hard edges he’d fallen in love with, but he’s finally learned how to make her laugh and smile and reach for him, and he thinks he loves her more than anything.

They settle in, unpacking boxes and ordering furniture and decorating, and little by little it’s less a house and more a home, and when he wraps his arms around her every night, he can’t imagine things being any other way.

It’s everything he’d ever worked for, everything she’d fought for, and it gets more perfect every day, all the way up until she smiles at him and presses his hand over her belly and slips her arms around him that he realizes it’s all too good to be true.

Church draws back, hands shaking, and doesn’t hear her asking what’s wrong, doesn’t feel her hands against him, trying to snap him out of it, he just _remembers_ , remembers what he’d never seen, her body twisted and broken, bleeding out and _that’s not right this can’t be happening it’s not real—_

( end simulation )

The hand sliding over the keyboard is worn and spotted with age, and as the message pops up on the screen ( new fragment gained accept y/n ) they shake as he types in the command.

“Why don’t you take a break while we process the fragment, sir?” the Counselor says, voice low and quiet, and Church simply shakes his head.

“Start up the next simulation. Let it run a little longer this time.”

“Yes, sir.”

Church leans back from the terminal, watching the way the AI tries to pull itself back together without the fragment it had just lost, and doesn’t notice when his hand slips into his pocket, thumbing over the ring tucked inside.

He still wonders if she would have said yes.


	2. sweeter than heaven & hotter than hell [Director/Allison]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Reeberry](http://reeberry.tumblr.com): “I run to the river and dive straight in/I pray that the water will drown out the din/But as the water fills my mouth/It couldn’t wash the echoes out”

She was never what he expected.

Allison had always been a woman of opposites, of a fiery tongue and an ice cold glare, of passion and hate and everything in between. She did as she liked, without asking for anyone’s approval and certainly not his, not for anything, not ever.

She was suited to the wide, empty sky, to the scorching heat and the dry air, and yet in this desert of theirs it was water she loved most of all, no matter the season.

Church remembers long weekends spent by the river, him with his books and her with her hair tied back in a braid, and how she’d never ask him to get in with her, she’d just pick him and toss him in, clothes and all, until he learned his lesson to stop wearing so damn much.

He remembers how she’d felt in his arms, when she’d let him hold her, the heat of her mouth against his, the press of her fingers into his arms as she pinned him against the bank, and he remembers thinking afterwards that he would give anything to stay like this forever.

The next week, when she ships out with hardly a word, he wonders why he didn’t see it coming.


	3. somebody i used to know [Director/Allison]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Reeberry](http://reeberry.tumblr.com): "you said that you could let it go and I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know"

He'd always been clingy. Allison knew that -- hell, she _expected_ it, after too many arguments to count. She had to be herself, _had to_ , or this shit wasn't going to work out, but she'd always been the better part of him since they day they met, even though they never fit together just right.

She tries to tell him he needs to learn how to live without her, to remember himself and not just that which has captured his heart (her and his work, and she doesn't know which he loves more sometimes), but he still forgets to eat, forgets when he's supposed to meet someone for dinner, and she doesn't think he'll ever get it.

He doesn't have to say the words out loud, no matter how many arguments they have, how many times he begs her to find another unit, another position, _anything_ to keep her at his side.

In the end, it's why she has to leave.

Twenty years later, and he still wonders what she would say to see him now.


	4. bring you back [Director & Counselor]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Basia](http://basiacat.tumblr.com): "I think more than I want to think/Do things I never should do/I drink much more that I ought to drink/Because it brings me back you"

A friend would stop him.

A friend would try to talk sense into him, would force him to see the error of his ways, to pay for what he's done. A friend would take action, not stand idly by and watch Church destroy himself and everything he'd made in order to achieve what had long been beyond humanity's reach.

A good friend would do nothing of the sort, and instead simply touch his shoulder and pull his hands away from the keyboard when he's spent another sleepless night working, would refresh his coffee when it grows cold. A good friend would listen to one theory after another and say nothing, knowing the conversation only goes one way.

A good friend would help him, and so the Counselor does.


	5. the dichotomy of us [Carolina]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [queen-of-france](http://queen-of-france.tumblr.com): "I've lost my character, who would have thought something broken was so hard to guard?"

She doesn't know which one of them take over first, because there's no way to know. There's no _her_ anymore, just _them_ screaming in her brain, and she doesn't know which of them is in control at any given moment, only that it's not her

( and she has to be in control she has to be ready poised _perfect_ because she'll never be the best if she's not and she has to she has to rise back up she has to be number one she _has_ to )

and they keep begging for Alpha please let us find Alpha please we need him we have to find him and she hates the word more with every passing breath, even more than _her_ and _him_ and everything in between and she can't she can't do this anymore

( but she has to )

she can't remember her name but she gave it up when she gave everything up and it doesn't matter anyway only who she is now

( _are you listening to us, carolina?_ )


	6. masquerade [Wash & Carolina]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [500fly](http://500fly.tumblr.com): "Masquerade! / Seething shadows breathing lies. / Masquerade! / You can fool any friend who ever knew you."

"You've changed, Wash."

His hands don't stop moving ( epsilon never really stopped so wash can't stop either ) over his gun, wiping down every last inch of it until he can see his reflection staring back at him ( but who are you? )

He snorts and doesn't answer.

"You have," Carolina says, and sets her helmet down on the table. She's learned not to come too close, to give him the space they both need, and she leans against the other wall, not surprised when he doesn't look up at her. "Whatever happened to the guy who reread the rulebook for fun?"

Wash sets the gun down, careful not to let it clatter, and wipes off his hands with the rag he'd been cleaning with, and he glances up at ( the red hair spilling over her shoulder the bright eyes the careful stance and _why did she have to come back_ ) her as he rises, picking up her helmet.

"You're one to talk." He looks down at her helmet, at the flaking paint, the scuffed visor, and shakes his head. "Whatever happened to the agent who couldn't stop kissing the Director's ass?"

She bristles, just like he expects ( because he knows her better than anyone else ) and he doesn't have to look up to see her glare. "Cut the crap. You know what he did to me. To _us_ \--"

"Save it," Wash says, and tosses her helmet to her, hearing it clatter into her hands as he leaves the room, knowing she's watching his every step.


	7. blood and metal [Wash/Tex]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Reeberry](http://reeberry.tumblr.com): "you're vulnerable, so vulnerable/you are not a robot/you're loveable, so loveable/but you're just troubled"

He's never seen her face ( so why does he know what she looks like ) but he can't help but think he doesn't have to, just from the way she carries herself. He can imagine the woman beneath ( all fire and ice and nothing in between, passion and anger and beauty wrapped up in a bright red bow and green eyes glittering ) in everything from the swing of her hips to the way she moves on the training room floor, every motion perfect and fluid. He can see the lines of muscle, the sinewy grace to her, and ( he loved it more than anything else loved the way she felt in his arms and pressed close ) while the rest share rumors about why she never takes off her helmet, why none of them have ever seen what Tex really looks like, Wash stays silent.

He already knows.


	8. drowning [Wash/Tex]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Reeberry](http://reeberry.tumblr.com): "No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber/Until I realise that it was you who held me under"

Every simulation is different. That's the point, even if the parameters don't change. It's how many times it's been run, if the repetition is what destroys him in the end.

( he's going to break apart into a thousand hundred million pieces and there's nothing he can do about it )

He's not sure when they started bleeding through the dreams and into reality ( because none of this is real ) but it gets worse and worse every day and it's suffocating, the chip in the back of his head digging itself deeper and deeper every time he so much as thinks about taking it out.

He pretends. He's good at pretending, at acting like he doesn't know what's going on, like he's just another mindless drone following the Director's orders, but he can't hide from himself, and the longer they stay together the more Wash can't find where he ends and Epsilon begins and--

"Hey, shithead. You're missing dinner."

Wash jerks and looks up, but Tex is already moving past, and he obeys as well as he always has, following after her and feeling the memories ease, if only for the moment.


	9. grounds & rounds [Wash & Maine]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3-sentence AU prompt from [Reeberry](http://reeberry.tumblr.com): "Wash and Maine open a coffee shop that slowly turns into a bar somehow."

Honestly, it was only a matter of time before they started serving alcohol — the longer they worked together, the more Wash found himself in need of a drink (how one man could manage to misinterpret so many orders Wash would never understand, mangled vocal cords or no), and he’d built up an impressive repertoire of liquer coffees anyway, so why not sell it directly to their customers?

Only a couple of extra drinks on the board had turned into an actual _menu_ before he knew it, and as their operating hours edged later and later into the night there was really no denying that it wasn’t just a coffee shop on the corner anymore, it was a place people came to unwind and relax and, on the rougher nights, get drunk and nearly trash the place.

At least he didn’t have to hire a bouncer.


	10. anamnesis [Wash]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some 3AM wordvomit about Season 10 Wash, written after episode 1 aired.

he remembers being the director  
he remembers being alpha  
he remembers being epsilon remembers hating epsilon remembers losing himself over and over again  
he remembers losing epsilon  
he remembers being alone  
he remembers wondering whose thoughts are whose and who he is and everything in between and inside out again  
he remembers pushing it back, out of his head, because he couldn’t care, couldn’t let himself, not about anything else  
he remembers alpha and everything he wasn’t and wash was  
he remembers being whole  
he remembers breaking again  
he remembers the end and the e.m.p. and everything that came with it  
he remembers the search the hope the need to find him again  
he remembers thinking it was the only thing that mattered  
he remembers finding epsilon just to lose him again  
he remembers the choice

he remembers how much it hurt the first time caboose called him church  
he remembers the anger the hate the need for revenge  
he remembers wanting nothing but to be himself

he remembers how it sunk in, over time  
he remembers how he got used to it  
he remembers accepting it and everything that came with this new life

he remembers everything  
and now he can finally start to forget


	11. food shortages [Grif & Simmons]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3-sentence AU prompt from [Stew](http://failfox.tumblr.com): Grif and Simmons go hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m usually terrible at writing Red Team but Grif and Simmons are a lot of fun. They can’t be written in three lines, though; they require a lot more to get the full effect.

“Hey, Simmons?”

“Grif, if you ask me what we’re doing out here again, I’m just gonna start shooting you instead of the pigs.”

“Yeah, but see, that’s what I’m trying to figure out, here. _Why_ are we out here shooting warthogs when we could just _run them over_ with _ours?_ ”

“Because Sarge told us to!”

“Dude, that stopped being a reason like ten years ago. Now seriously, can we just get in the car? You shoot, I’ll drive! It’ll be simple!”

“It’s inhumane!”

“Living off your diet is inhumane, Simmons. It’s about time I got some meat in me.”

“I’m not even going to touch _that_ one.”


	12. longitude & attitude [Wash/Alpha]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3-sentence AU prompt from [Anne](http://anneapocalypse.tumblr.com): Wash/Alpha, road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...it ended up a lot longer than 3 sentences. Also apparently the only Alpha I can write is snarky AI Alpha.

“You missed the exit.”

“It’s not for another two miles, Church.”

“No, that’s what the _directions_ say. _I_ say you should have taken the one back there. Coulda shaved off half the time it’s gonna take to get there.”

“This is the way I _always_ come.”

“Yeah, and I bet you’re always fucking late, aren’t you? Or are you one of those people who leaves an hour early _just in case_ you hit traffic and have to look like a dumbass coming in ten minutes late?”

“…”

“Oh my god, you _are_.”

“Shut up. _I’m_ the one driving here, and _I_ don’t need your directions.”

“Right. And explain to me again why you wouldn’t take advantage of the brilliant AI in the back of your head again? Really, I’m all ears.”

“I liked you better when you were on that ghost kick.”

“Blame Delta. And hey, I never liked you, so I guess that makes us even.”

“Just shut up and let me drive.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

There’s a pause, and—

“You know you missed the turn, right?”

“I fucking hate you.”


	13. interrogations [Carolina & Red Team]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Zeus](http://queen-of-france.tumblr.com): Carolina tries to throw Grif off a cliff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe if I write enough ridiculous Red Team drabbles I'll get better at writing them.

“I don’t believe this.”

“Believe it,” Sarge says, and even if she’s never seen him without his helmet Carolina knows he’s scowling. “Lady, if it was _that_ easy to get rid of that varmint, I would have done it years ago!”

“Yeah, and besides, Grif already fell for that once. He must have learned something.”

“Wait,” Carolina says, “he’s been thrown off a cliff _before?_ ”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, when we killed the Meta,” Simmons replies, shrugging. “We knocked him off with our… where are you going?”

“It better be to get a fucking rope!” Grif hollers from twenty feet below. “I think the Grifshot's starting to slip!”

“Now come on, Grif, who would get _you_ a rope?” Sarge says. “No matter how loony this Carolina chick is, that’s just plain crazy talk. What she _should_ be getting is a shotgun. That way she can knock you off that knife thingy of yours and finish the job!”

“Wouldn’t just shooting at him kill him, sir?” Simmons points out.

Sarge considers that. “Good point. I like the way she thinks.”

“Just move out of the way,” Carolina says, tossing the rope over the cliff edge. There’s a shout of relief from Grif, and then a sharp grunt from Carolina as she tries to balance herself. “You’re supposed to climb _up_ the rope!”

“What? I thought you were going to lift me! This is bullshit!”

Ten minutes of solid complaining later (mostly from Sarge), Grif collapses on the edge of the cliff, pressing his visor to the ground. “Sweet, sweet ground, I’ll never leave you again, I— _hey!_ ” Grif scrambles in Carolina’s grip, trying to wriggle free. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Start. Talking. How did _you_ kill the Meta?”

“Uh, pretty sure it was dumb luck.”

There’s a pause, and—

“Son of a biiiiiiiiiiiiitch!”

“You know he’s still alive, right?” Simmons asks, peering over the cliff edge as Carolina dusts off her hands.

“Shut up.”


	14. (in)discretion [Director & Counselor]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from [Zeus](http://queen-of-france.tumblr.com): Sister is Mystery Blue Guy.
> 
> ...yeah.

“Director, are you sure she’s the best choice for this task? She is—”

“Agent Hawaii is _more_ than capable, Counselor,” Church replies, not bothering to look up from the panels before him. “We _need_ someone on the ground in Blood Gulch to get a handle on the situation. Vic’s reports are barely enough. Hawaii will retrieve the intel we require and extract before they even realize she’s there.”

“Yes, but what about her brother? Surely he’ll—”

“Private Grif was not sent to Blood Gulch on account of his _intelligence_ , Counselor. Hawaii knows how to be discreet.”

“…Wait, what?”

“Never mind. Just send her out on the next Pelican. And make _sure_ she doesn’t talk to the pilot.”


	15. (don't) Leave me alone [Director/Allison]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this way back in September 2012. Edited it a little, but otherwise I like it as-is.

the first time allison sees leonard church, she calls him a nerd. he looks the part.  
he bristles, easily angered.  
she laughs and he glowers.  
but he remembers her.

the second time they meet, it’s by chance. he’s getting pantsed.  
he expects her to laugh. she gives him a hand.  
“i don’t like it when the weak get hurt.”  
“i’m not weak.”  
“prove it.”

he tries. he fails. he fails a lot, when it comes to her, but it’s the effort that impresses her most.

he asks her out in a fit of madness.  
she doesn’t do dating, but she thinks he’s interesting.  
they spend more time together. she listens to his ramblings, his wild imaginings, and they don’t even seem possible to her, but she can hear the conviction in his voice.

they drive out to the lake, through the desert. they’re alone. he kisses her.  
she doesn’t kiss back.  
he panics, tries to apologize. she interrupts him.  
“you kiss like a sissy.”

his wallet is gone the next day.

they get older. they fight. they break up. they make up. rinse and repeat.  
she knows he’ll come back. he always does.  
she thinks it’s nice, to have that kind of constant.

she starts trusting him.  
when he says i love you, she doesn’t respond.  
another fight. another breakup. he worries this is it.  
she comes back. he didn’t think she would.

the war starts.

allison has a purpose. she drops out of school, joins up. he hates it.  
she’s off at basic training all summer. she never answers his calls.  
but writes him, just once.

he finds out she slept around. they fight. he’s too vanilla for her. too loving. it’s not what she wants.  
“i’ll be whatever you want.”  
she realizes he really does love her. he’s not just saying it.

he goes to college. she starts getting drills in system. she’s training to be the best.  
he wants to follow her once he gets his degree.  
she is his life now.  
(maybe she always was.)

she visits. fucks him in his dorm room. she’s been faithful this time.

his wallet is still missing afterwards.


	16. pattern recognition [Carolina & Wash]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this back in March 2012. It was originally going to be a full fic, but I’ve forgotten what else I was going to write, so now it’s a drabble.

The first time it happens, he isn’t surprised.

But it surprises Carolina, more than finding him here, more than the fact that he actually _likes_ this, that he’s accepted his fate and is making the best of it. It’s the fact that Wash -- not the forthright do-gooder she remembers but the quietly bitter man he is now -- doesn’t try to cheer her up the way he used to talk to Connie, doesn’t flush at the sight of her in nothing but a tank top and shorts and stammer some excuse, he just goes over to the coffeepot and starts up a fresh batch without even asking why she’s up at three in the morning.

It’s a long time before Carolina realizes he never needed to ask.


	17. i'm still free [Maine/Carolina]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 sentence AU prompt from Anne: Maine/Carolina, Firefly-esque space western setting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently this is from October 2012. The things I find in my tumblr tags.

Carolina knows those few unlucky souls who survive Reaver attacks never come out all that sane themselves. and maybe Maine isn't quite the same anymore, but when she reaches up and pulls his face down to hers she doesn't see madness. She sees something fractured and broken, something she's sworn to put back together, and even if she's sometimes tempted to walk away and not look back, she knows she needs him as much as he needs her.

He'll never speak again, not after his neck had been torn to shreds, but she's never needed words to understand him.


End file.
